What would Joe the Plumber say?

Satire by Jamie York

[Reporter interviews southern senator]

Reporter: What would Joe the Plumber say about President Obama's stimulus plan?

Senator: Well, obviously, Joe the Plumber would say that reducing the amount of federal withholding from everyone’s paycheck is socialism.

Reporter: Socialism? Isn’t the goal to put more cash in people's pockets, to encourage spending and thus help the ailing economy?

Senator: Republicans would have the economy running smoothly if we were in charge, if it were not for the Democrats and their obstructionist ways. They are the ones distracting us right now with their talk about Rush Limbaugh running the Republican Party. They are slowing down any hope of economic recovery. I’m stuffing all of my extra cash into my mattress for the day when Obama’s stimulus plan fails and the economy tanks.

Reporter: Senator, aren’t you over-reacting? Joe the Plumber won’t get his plumbing, country music star, reporting, book writing, union busting career started if the economy tanks. Wouldn’t he want Obama’s plan to succeed?

Senator: Of course Joe wants the economy to succeed. He knows we are the greatest nation in the world. But Joe would not want the Democratic stimulus to work if it means giving away free money to everyone. He would say we need to increase the Bush tax cuts. If businesses have more money, they will expand and hire more workers.

Reporter: That is classic Reaganomics, but how will the benefits trickle-down fast enough to help people right now? Remember, the economy was in shambles when Obama became president. Besides, the big banks, automakers, and insurance companies are also failing from many years of bad lending practices, inefficient operations, and greed.

Senator: I hate to say it, but we may need to nationalize the banks.

Reporter: Isn’t that socialism?

Senator: Not when we do it; only when other nations do it.

Reporter: What would Joe the Plumber say about that?